Aligning Your Goals and Actions

“Tell me who I have to be, to gain some reciprocity” – Lauryn Hill, one of the best of our time (and I won’t take any argument on that internet!)

Recently I started to re-read Debrena Jackson Gandy’s – All the Joy you Can Stand. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, GET THIS BOOK! It will no doubt have a profound effect on your life in your journey through Personal Development.  One of the points in the book that has always really stuck out to me is in point# 8. In this particular section she is discussing putting our energy and life source toward what brings us Joy.  Aligning our actions with your joy givers by asking “who do I have to be in order to attract and create these types experience and relationships”

The first time I read it I took a few hours and really stopped to analyze my life and dig deep to find what TRULY brings me joy.

So Internet, what brings you joy? We all have surface answers. The answers that seem like the right thing to say or that your mind has told us but dig to your spirit. That’s where the answer lies.

Now let’s be clear, joy is not the same as happiness. Happiness is fleeting, temporal. It’s a surface level emotion. Joy is a deeper feeling unstoppable and unshakable. Makes you smile, when everything around you says you should be down. Joy emanates from God given and is deep within your spirit. So Internet, what REALLY brings you joy?

• What type of marriage or love relationship brings me joy?
• What type of man or partner brings me joy?
• What type of relationship with your kids brings you joy?
• What type of financial situation brings me joy?
• What type of relationship with my family (mom, dad, siblings) brings me joy?
• What type of friendships, interactions, associations brings me joy?
• What type of career and use of my natural gifts, talents and abilities brings me joy?
• What use of your days and time brings me joy?

If you don’t have kids or a husband or any of the other line items yet but anticipate this in your future, answer these questions anyhow. Start thinking about these relationships and experiences now.

Now ask, who do I have to be t have this? Your desires have to align with your actions and who you are. For example, you can’t say you want successful, loyal, fun friendships but you’re a broke, negative back-biter. You get it? Shanel Cooper Sykes covers this in her video, All Men Are Dogs. Many women want a certain man but fail to look at what they are bringing to the table.  You have to give what you want to have. This was a huge eye opener for me. In answering the question, who do I have to be to have this; I continually came up with exactly what I was seeking as my answer. Interesting huh? Remember that like attracts like and the very thing we put out is what we get so if we want to change what we get we have to put something different out and that something different is, again, the very thing we want to attract. Like attracts like.

So once you’ve searched your heart and truly determined your heart’s desire and what brings you joys in each area of your life analyze who you have to be to have it. Don’t let this be a onetime occurrence though. Check in on this regularly to ensure you are walking in alignment.

Now internet, I have been writing these articles for a while now and Mr. Google Analytics tells me your reading but I see NO comments. I’m sharing my journey, thoughts and discoveries with you so “tell me who I have to be, to gain some reciprocity?” LOL..I had to   But for real though…say something!